GROOVY REMOVALS (HOMAGE TO 1971)

They arrive at the door. Late. They carry me out, upright, stiff, one man on each elbow, taking good care not to bump me against the door frames. They swing me horizontal to put me into the truck, stand me in a corner like a grandfather clock, strap me to the wall. In an easy chair, a woman in a Fair Isle cardigan and tweed skirt smokes a pipe. Are they moving both of us at the same time? I ask. She raises one eyebrow as if I should know. She picks up a battered copy of Slaughterhouse Angel, the underground magazine, from the dusty floor, begins to read the classified ads aloud.

House share available. Lambeth. Nicely decorated a la Habitat. Private bath in walled garden.

Man (20) Hitching to Australia. Needs fairly broke Buddhist female companion who loves wine, folk-rock. Bring own foldable water-bed.

Celibacy. Some people like it. Open discussion with monk at meeting of Zodiac International Vesuvian Society. Wednesday 29th. Cafe Venus.

Hire Red Butterfly Mobile Discotheque And Break Free With A 24-Hour Extravaganza! Strangers, Get To Know Each Other Without The Need Of Words.

Worldwide Introduction Service For Witches. Very reliable. Cheap.

Attractive girl wanted by cultured sensitive slightly neurotic Julie Felix devotee living in squalor with labrador in large beautiful but decaying house.

Join the Know Thyself Friendship Group, meets every Thursday in the crypt of St Mark’s at 11p.m.

Earn 50p to £1 per hour tax-free selling new Alternative Guide To Sleep wherever and whenever you want. 18 1/2p profit on each issue.

We provide the following A-Z services: Astrology, Baby-Sitting, Cookery, Decorating, Erotic Arts, Forestry, Gnomes, Humanist Funerals, Illustration, Jewellery, Knitting, Lacemaking, Modelling, Nature Walks, Origami Orgies, Photography, Quiz-Questions, Renovations, Secretarial, Tarot, Upholstering, Vicars, Wood-Turning, Xeroxing, Yoga, Zen-Inspired Zoo Visits.

Take the Magic Bus non-stop to Athens, Delhi, Kathmandu. Free pack of Gauloise Disque Bleu upon arrival with every booking.

Meet Me Where The Map Ends. An Encounter Group That Will Expand Your Mind. Discerning individuals. Ring Reg and Rita 01-389-6666.

The Museum of Hats is Looking for Donations. Anything Considered.

Full collection of Incredible String Band LPs wanted. Willing to part-exchange friendly Deer Hound.

Groovy Removals Timeless Travel Company. We’ll make your house move a calming, stress-free experience. Relax about time. We’ll get you there.

The woman’s voice drones on as I feel the truck lurch off in low gear, swing out of our road and head east. I notice she has put on a leather flying helmet from World War Two. Is that roar of the engine really us? Why do I feel we’re leaving the ground? Is this beginning to get very worrying?

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